Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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