I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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