No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
