yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
