Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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