Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
