My pussy is not your playground.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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