Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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