it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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