it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
