i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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