oh god the rape fog is back!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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