Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want her autograph on my taint
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
