my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
