I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
