I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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