We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
