Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
