Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
