Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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