The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
