I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
