if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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