well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
