I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
