i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
