That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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