its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
