she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
