My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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