I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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