Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
