You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
