$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
