The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
