Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
