just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my being single is dangerous.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
