I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
