no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
