I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
