It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
