Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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