i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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