is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
