Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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