ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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