Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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