i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm really busy with my period
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