I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
