I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
