i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
